Meaningful Growth Starts with Self-Exploration
Coaching is going well... right?
You're working with a coach, and showing up in an open, transparent way. Bringing the good stuff. Being yourself and saying what you're feeling. Raw and direct. The discussions flow and are valuable. And yet, somehow you still aren't getting exactly what you want out of coaching. It's good, maybe even approaching great, but not quite what you expected.
I'm looking for more.
This is common. Some progress and personal growth occurs, but there is a desire for more, for different, for something transformational. You're benefitting from working with a coach and have created a positive relational space. Reaping those rewards should be celebrated. After all, we are all ultimately working on how we connect with people.
The magic is in the dynamic.
Coaches are included in this. By default, coaches have to connect with people. Our work doesn't exist otherwise. In order for coaches to connect in a way that results in something transformational, we have to explore. That includes exploring with you, who you are, and the dynamic we have together.
The 'why' matters.
The coach isn't the focus - you are. And that includes exploring what you bring to a session. The meaning behind what you've brought to discuss, to work through, to solve. It will be different than what you've brought - and more important. Take note of that. Growth, including life and personal leadership transformation, requires meaning and purpose to be present. Slef-exploration is a key component in getting there.
Your free time is limited. And it's valuable.
With this in mind, would you rather spend an hour of that time:
(a.) exploring why you brought what you did, and how it connects within you and to those around you; or
(b.) coming up with a solution, next steps, and taking action on something that you're destined to repeat in one way or another?
People often take (b.) because it feels tangible. There is an objective to accomplish, and it makes us feel in control. There is something to do, action to take. And it might be enough to get by that day or the next. Rinse and repeat. However, self-exploration is lacking.
Here is the tough news: taking action in itself isn't the outcome you deserve.
So give (a.) a try. Take a breath, make a conscious choice, and respond with 'I want to explore' even though it doesn't feel certain. Being uncertain is being human, and it's an element of self-exploration. It gets you closer to a transformational moment. Be comfortable being uncertain - with yourself and in a dynamic with others. Open up when you hear questions like 'what else' and 'what matters'. Own it if these types of questions feel challenging. Keep your thoughts moving while keeping the noise down. Make time to reflect. And most importantly, celebrate and feel empowered when you make a discovery. Understanding this is one thing - creating meaningful change is another. If you're ready to explore this more deeply, view my coaching philosophy to see how we can work together. It's important to remember that self-exploration can happen whenever you're ready, and that it's a skill to be practiced. If you're interested in reading more, try this: avoiding confusion during self-exploration.
Make time to explore.
Always explore. Your coach should make it a regular practice. You'll uncover connection where you didn't expect it, and see themes that crosscut your behaviours. Different patterns will emerge. Practice listening to other people, and pay attention to how they behave around you. Your visibility will only grow. I'm aware of this because I have been through it many times, personally and professionally. I've been coached, and I'm grateful to have sat in both chairs and on both sides of the screen. Your coach is here to help, and we learn a lot from the people we work with.
You're here to transform. I'm here to be part of your journey. If you're curious about what this might look like in your own life, you're welcome to start a conversation.
~ RJW
